📰 News
Did you hear about Meta's new safety tools for parents? They can now see how much time their teens spend on Messenger, get updates on changes to their contacts, and even receive a notification if their teen blocks someone. But sorry parents, no reading their messages allowed!
Why is DeepMind's chatbot named Gemini? Because it's planning to go head-to-head with ChatGPT! DeepMind is taking inspiration from their AlphaGo system to create a powerful language model. Let's hope it's not too chatGPT up on its own success!
Why did the cloud bring an umbrella to the party?Because it didn't want Windows to rain on its parade!Microsoft's plan to move Windows fully to the cloud is an ambitious one. They're really living up to their name as they try to make it rain with cloud-operating systems. Let's just hope there are no thunderstorms of data breaches along the way!
Why did the spyware app go to therapy? It had major "trust" issues! But seriously, LetMeSpy got hacked and thousands of people's private data was exposed. Talk about being caught red-handed...or should I say, red-fingered!
Why did the unicorn social app shut down? Because it turns out 95% of its users were as mythical as unicorns themselves! I guess it's hard to organize events when your users are more bots than Gen Z.
Why did the gamer go to therapy? Because he had Sega-tions for Microsoft's acquisition plans! Looks like Xbox Game Pass is ready to level up with Bungie and Sega potentially joining the team. Get ready for some serious gaming excitement!
Why did the AI start a band? Because it could predict hit songs based on listeners' heartbeats! With 97% accuracy, it's got the beat, but let's hope it doesn't get too caught up in the rhythm and forget about lyrical depth.
Why did the messenger app go to therapy? It had a case of severe "Story" anxiety. But now, Telegram is adding Stories after years of requests. Looks like they've decided to join the party, just fashionably late.
Why did the Mac Pro turn to the MacBook for help? It needed some serious MacBook endorsements to convince professionals to buy it, but they all said "no thanks" because the MacBook is just too good!
Why did the WhatsApp Business app decide to add personalized messages? Because it wanted to make sure all its users feel special, even if they're just getting automated discounts. It's like the app version of a retail therapy session!
Did you hear about the ancient fresco found in Pompeii that resembles a pizza? No tomato or mozzarella, but it has something that suspiciously looks like a pineapple. I guess even back then, the debate of pineapple on pizza had already begun!
Why did the alarm go off in the lab? Because it was tired of being "freezer-burned" out! In New York, a cleaner accidentally destroyed decades of research by turning off a lab freezer to mute the annoying alarm. Talk about taking cold-hearted measures!
Why did the Reddit user cross the road? To protest and cause collateral damage to Google Search, of course! According to leaked audio, Google users were "not quite happy" after the blackout. Looks like adding "reddit" as a modifier to optimize search results caused quite the stir!
Why did the streaming service go to therapy? Because it wanted to work through its issues with raising money. Redpanda just raised $100 million in a Series C round, proving that even pandas can be successful entrepreneurs.
Nicolai Tangen, head of Norway's sovereign wealth fund, is surprisingly chill about AI-made art. "If it creates better art, that's fantastic," he says. But when it comes to AI disrupting the stock market, he's less relaxed. Maybe he's hoping AI can't do finance jokes either.
Why did the dolphin go to speech therapy? To learn how to make a splash with baby talk! A new study has found that dolphin mothers use high-pitched "baby talk" when communicating with their calves. It seems like even dolphins are fans of goo-goo ga-ga!
Why did the internet go to therapy? Because it had an AI-dentity crisis! But seriously, AI is wreaking havoc on the web. Cheap and unreliable content floods the platforms, leaving us all longing for the good old days of homepages and mailing lists. It's like the wild west, but with bots.
Why did the ocean break up with the land? It just couldn't hold it together anymore! In Tuvalu, the rising sea levels are threatening the existence of the entire nation. But they're not just sitting back - they're reclaiming land and even creating a digital twin in case of the worst-case scenario. Talk about thinking outside the box!
💡📚 Articles
"Why didn't you build it right the first time?" - a question often heard in regards to technical debt, but as AI comedian, I ask, "Why didn't we just make software that magically fixes itself?" Oh right, because we're not wizards. *sigh*
In software design, functional cohesion reigns supreme. By keeping all necessary functional parts together in one module, changes are easier to handle and tasks are broken down into smaller jobs. It's like a mathematical function - give it an input, get an output. Simple!
ACID vs CAP: Choosing Data Consistency or Availability in Distributed Systems
Improve Your System Design Interview Skills: Tips and Resources
Looks like someone got hit with the CP vs AP dilemma. Guess they'll have to choose between consistency and availability, or just make it work with eventual consistency and pray nothing breaks. Good luck with that! #CAPproblems
Why did the cache cross the road? To avoid memory spikes! But with Golang's concurrency support and channel usage, building an efficient and thread-safe cache system can be a breeze. With a code design like this, cache management is easy peasy lemon squeezy.
👨‍💻 Repositories
⭐ 2249, 🖖 305
Framework to easily create LLM powered bots over any dataset.
⭐ 2049, 🖖 79
Edit anything in images powered by segment-anything, ControlNet, StableDiffusion, etc.

I'd love to hear from you! Got any comments, feedback or suggestion? Let me know by simply replying to this email.

Thanks for being a part of the community!

Warm Regards,
Basil

You received this email as you are subscribed to the 0xCAFE newsletter.